5 months 11 countries

so i came home. money isn't everything. that is unless you run out of it. no australia. no south america. rumour has it they're closed for refurbishment anyway so it doesn't matter. things i miss - the random chats, random food, animals on the road, the crap vehicles, the relaxing lifestyle, good music, happy people and travelling in general. things i don't miss - dirty clothes, fucking insects, cold showers, my camera breaking, stand-up poo's, carrying a bag, dodgy police, sweating and getting punched. my blog is called 7 months 12 countries or something like that, I didn't choose the name, but it's all one big lie now anyway. its 5 months and probably less than 12 countries. i'll check to see how many ive been to and leave a nice comment beside for potential future travellers:

1) India - don't bother
2) Kashmir - maybe when they're not warring
3) China - nice - learn some of the language though
4) Mongolia - no thanks, i could just stay in and punch myself
5) Hong Kong - go if you have money
6) Vietnam - go just for the rice wine - 2 litres? 30p?
7) Cambodia - like a tame mad max
8) Thailand - avoid people wearing England shirts shouting fishy fishy
9) Malaysia - definitely worth a visit
10 ) Indonesia - crazy town - get involved
11) Laos - a.m.a.z.i.n.g

damn it. only 11. still, more than i thought i'd done. i'll definitely go travelling again. there's too much world just to stay at home and ignore it. i didn't blog very well. there's just too much to write about. every day you could write one of these things, then you leave it a month and realise you've been through 4 countries and you don't know where to begin. still, i tried. so carrying on in that vain, i'll give a breif overview of my last month. i saw urang utans in Bukit Lawang which was one of the best places ive ever been. its a proper jungle town and its a absolute mission to get there. getting from penang to Medan takes a day, then it takes another 6 hours to get to Bukit Lawang in some sort of minibus of pain which you can see below. that badboy sat 15 of us. no lie. somehow i didnt even have a seat.

From Bukit Lawang

After the 3 day jungle trek myself Luke and Jon, my new friends (i have friends) travelled to Lake Toba for New Year, via Medan again. This again took about a day on the buses of pain. It was all very nice. What wasn't nice was travelling back to Malaysia on the shittest ferries and buses known to man with a hangover the size of Craig Bellamy's ego. Hitching a ride on the ferry was the easy bit, i don't want to talk about the rest it hurts too much.

From Lake Toba

From Penang, me and Jon headed to the cameron highlands in central malaysia. its an odd place. lots of tea plantations and jungle area to go hiking. we went hiking as soon as we arrived, climbed through one landslide where the mud came up to my hips, then 15 minutes later we were climbing through another when the mud came up to my chest. i had my own personal landslide in my pants and we decided we'd better turn around. the next day we visited a tea plantation. they showed us a video in which the voiceover guy said that every person in Nepal has at least 19 cups of tea a day. that was one of his facts. unbelievable. we then walked in the wrong direction for 3 hours before a local man stopped us and gave us a lift back saying we were heading in to the jungle. they call me compass round these parts.

From Cameron Highlands

Jon left me in Kuala Lumpar. i went to a deer moose farm expecting to see deers and mooses. they're definitely called mooses. turns out that this little rat creature is actually called a deer moose. some would say a disappointment. others, a lesson learnt.

From Kuala Lumpur

I flew from KL to Laos as my time was running out. my camera broke again is Laos, which was nice, as its probably the most beautiful place ive ever been, apart from the himalayas, where my camera broke the last time. good. vientiene, vang vieng and luang prabang. all amazing places. i wish id been there longer. took the slow boat from luang prabang to the thai border. stayed one night in a village with 2 hour electricity per day, and the next night on the laos side of the border as the boat was late. both odd little places but both nice to see. my last adventure was in chang mai, northern thailand. i met up with luke and we went trekking again. the trek included an elephant ride where the elephants are a tad crazy, bamboo rafting (our raft sank), white water rafting (not much white water), food, 2 nights camping and 3 days walking. £35. cant complain with those prices.

From Bangkok and Home

When we returned we met up with Jon, had a big night out, then did a cooking course the next day. i fell asleep i was so tired. in the evening i caught the overnight bus to bangkok. my last day and night travelling. my bus to the airport was at 5am. emile arrived at kao san road at 8pm and we had one last night out. ive included a fetching photograph of the man at 4.30am. yes emile, you are the burger king.

From Bangkok and Home

so that's me done. no more internet cafes for a while. no more writing. might get a job? might go travelling?

soreness and bitterness

lets get this over with. thailand was brief. it began in bangkok, as many thai adventures do. my adventures there revolved around kick-boxing. myself and then travelling companion richard bought ring side seats for an evening of man-fighting delirium. it was fantastic. two days later i trained with one of bangkok's kick-boxing teams. i'm not going to say i was embarrassed, i was just really embarrassed. they're all very tough men. i am not as tough as they are. i left in a world of pain. so much pain i was hobbling round hua hin for the next 4 days.

From Hua Hin

in hua hin i stayed with my old friend emile. he lives in the middle of a pineapple field and rides a scooter round all day. good man. hua hin's a good place to visit. the king lives there. we attempted to visit the king and were chased by men sporting sub-machine guns. the king doesn't do visitors. selfish. we played football with locals, visited a monkey temple, danced many nights and avoided as many ladyboys as possible. i finally had a massage and my legs were fixed. no more exercise for me. a detox is in order.

From Ko Tao

the detox took place on the islands of koh tao and koh samui. you hear a lot about these islands. some people love them, some people hate them. koh tao is beautiful. i spent my time snorkeling, lying on the beach and doing yoga. who do i think i am? geri haliwell that's who. i had my own little bungalow for 5 pounds, which was a bargain during the day when i had amazing views over the harbour, but by night the crabmen came out in force and attacked my bungalow with their deceitful claws. big massive crabs that david attenborough talks about. him or richard anyway. one of them does jurassic park. not him. the other one. the crabs forced me from my bungalow after my second night. i kid you not. koh tao is nice. but if you're not in to diving or snorkeling you could easily give it a miss. koh samui on the other hand should be avoided at all costs. unless of course your body is covered with tattoos of anchors, you like fighting in the street and taking ladyboys home. then it's heaven.

From Penang

i was ruined by the recent law change in thailand that gives you 14 days on arrival instead of 30. having spent 13 days in the land of the king i had to make a run for a border. malaysia was the border of choice and penang the desired destination. what should have been a basic 10 hour journey turned out to be a 20 hour monstrosity involving 9 buses and 2 ferries. that's 9 buses. count them. i bet you can't. in the picture above, a friendly american tourist caught my mood on the the last leg of the journey, the ferry across to georgetown, penang. i have the look of a serial killer in my eyes. murder was rife that night. rife i tells thee.

From Penang

penang turned out to be an excellent choice. there's so much food there. i must have eaten seven meals a day on average. indian, chinese and malay. ok i didn't have much malay but indian and chinese, they're special. i stayed in penang for 3 nights and made many new friends, including a local duo called john and geoff (they sound local) who took me and 2 others to a local karaoke bar. karaoke is serious business in asia. it was about as much fun as a lobotomy. the clubbing after made up for it though. i saw a monitor lizard as well. not in the club. by the harbour. he was huge.

From Penang

right that's me done again. i'm in kuala lumpar at the moment. i'm going to see what's happening in town tonight. i'm guessing lots of touts trying to rip tourists off. yes. i'm right. and i'm not even outside yet. i'm like some sort of wizard.